Crying over Fantine's Goodbye

I saw this video on you tube today and I was really crying while watching this. It is after all too difficult for a mother to leave behind the child she loves very much. I wonder how many more Jean Val Jean will have to take care of how many Cossettes in this world. 

Anyway, I couldn't help but think about Fantine and her death scene in Victor Hugo's Les Miserables. We are actually on our way to the car shop to see my father's technician as the car exhaust is acting crazy again. But I am still in a state of mourning for Fantine, lol.. Seriously, that is how I deal with what I see. It pains me a lot to see scenarios like that. I can not imagine any parent to be stone hearted to be unfeeling and insensitive. Well, perhaps ONLY responsible parents would feel like this. Irresponsible parents will do anything and everything to rid themselves of responsibility towards their children. Monsters who would undeniably leave behind a great responsibility in order to satisfy personal wonderment and pleasure. 

Having watched the video makes me want to stay and be wit Lili till she finishes school, but then again, being the sole provider, I must do anything and everything to make her achieve what she wants to achieve in life. My parents have done that for me, and now that I am a parent, it's time I do it for my daughter. After all, she is my responsibility and I love her very much. When you are a mom, you will really look at the best interest of your child. It's not that I will leave my child to be with a man who is in hiding from authorities or something like that, as I know of someone who is, lol.. Kidding aside, I will leave her with good responsible people who loves her too.. I know she will be protected from all the monsters that want to plague our lives with their selfishness and ill intentions. And she will achieve greater heights because of all our support and my sacrifices.. So yay! I see a bright future ahead for Lili.. And no goodbyes actually, as she will be visiting me there from time to time.. 

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Home Projects

My father wants me to give up the Orange house. And I guess I have no choice but to agree with him. Why? Because I have spent so much in repairs and the house itself is not anymore practical to maintain. There is no more point in getting the bathroom suites fixed as I am leaving soon anyway. 

I wanted to keep it even when I have already left for my out of the country teaching stint, but  again, it would not be a practical move. I guess my next home project is the home itself. My mom told me that I should just buy a brand new house through PAGIBIG fund rather than keep renting the Orange House which is all worn and needy for repairs. And I see their point as much as I see what lies ahead. I just can't sacrifice my money just to help the owner of the house go through life.. On second thought, I love it there. I like the privacy and the open space as well as the trees and the independence. But then again, I wouldn't be living in it anyway, as I would be out of the country. Whew.. I am still confused. Although a part of me has already done with deciding whether to give it up or not.. Oh well, I have to decide fast as I will be out by October..

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